Every entrepreneur has conflicts. Small, big, internal or external conflicts. Slumbering or popping conflicts. But how do you actually deal with a conflict; hard in it? Or not? In this blog I give you 3 tips to resolve a conflict quickly and effectively.
#1 Analyze interests, goals and emotions
You need the other party to resolve a conflict. It is therefore essential that you try to find out what moves the other person. Therefore, analyze your own interests, goals and emotions in the conflict, but also those of the other person. Tips for this can be found in this blog .
I hear you thinking. ‘Make an inventory of emotions in a business conflict? Is that needed? Oh no?’ Anyway. The content of the conflict is often not the cause of the conflict. Then what? An emotion such as anger regularly plays a role in the emergence of a business conflict. And so also when looking for a solution to the conflict. An example of an emotion (angry) in a business conflict: ‘Who does he think he is? ‘.
#2 Analyze conflict styles
Once you have a clear picture of interests, goals and emotions, you proceed to an analysis of your own conflict style and that of the other person. There are roughly 5 conflict styles:
- Fight
- Avoid
- To give in
- Compromise
- Confronting, also called cooperating or negotiating
If you (also) have insight into the conflict styles, you can choose an effective strategy to resolve the conflict. This increases the chance of a solution.
Example I: You have determined that your interest and purpose is ‘ payment of disputed invoices with termination of the contract ‘. You are negotiating with AM, a large American multinational. AM does not want to pay and is known as an aggressive and opportunistic party with a conflict style of ‘fighting’. Which conflict style do you choose to achieve the best result?
Example II: You have determined that your interest and purpose is ‘ payment of disputed invoices with termination of the contract ‘. You are negotiating with BN, a respected industry peer. BN does not want to pay and is known as a convinced Buddhist with a conflict style of ‘compromising’. Which conflict style do you choose to achieve the best result?
The answer to these questions is not unequivocal. You make the final choice based on your interests, goals and emotions (see tip 1). For example, if you are negotiating under time pressure and you know that you are within your rights, you are more likely to opt for conflict style fighting. On the other hand, if one of your interests is to continue doing business together in the future, you will more likely opt for conflict style compromise or confrontation.
#3 Choose the conflict style with the best outcome for both parties
Conflict style confrontation is seen as the best way to arrive at the best solution for both parties (!) for a conflict. With this conflict style you look for a solution that is better than making a compromise. This conflict style is in line with the Harvard method of negotiation. You can read more about this in my earlier blog Negotiations stuck? That’s how you get further .
Conclusion
Conflict arises quickly and is often difficult to resolve. With the previous 3 tips, a solution is one step closer. But what if you want to resolve the conflict and you can’t? Or if you want to solve the conflict through the conflict style confront, but the other party does not? What then? Then both lawyers and mediators can help you with this. A lawyer is a trained conflict resolver and, if necessary, can resolve the conflict (or have it resolved) through legal proceedings.
A mediator is trained to guide parties to resolve conflicts. A mediator guides parties in confronting the conflict style, so that they can come to the best solution for their conflict. Important advantages of mediation are that the majority of mediations are successful, the parties then choose a solution themselves and mediation costs much less and takes less time than court proceedings.
Questions?
Do you have questions? Please do not hesitate to contact us via this form or via 020 – 820 01 69. Loes van Kooten is a lawyer and mediator at HJ Advocaten & Mediators. As a lawyer, Loes provides strategic advice to entrepreneurs about conflicts and contracts, both in the foreground and in the background. Through the ADR Institute , Loes gives training to the vocational training for mediators and courses on Harvard Negotiation and Conflict Skills.
